How to Survive Valentine’s Day as a Singleton

Red full bloomed roses, fluffy little teddy bears clutching equally fluffy and anatomically incorrect hearts, sickeningly sweet cards, bottles of wine, cheesy dvds, heart shaped chocolates, heart shaped pillows, heart shaped note pads, heart shaped bath salts, heart shaped soap – the heart nonsense is never ending.

When you are all loved up Valentine’s day and all the debris that goes along with it is positively heart-warming and relationship affirming, but let’s face it, when you aren’t anyone’s better half, it’s not quite so heart nourishing. So how do we make sure we don’t choke on the romance flying around and polluting the air? How to survive Valentine ’s Day as a singleton?

1) Me Day

Do the things you want to do. Take that three hour, rose petal strewn, candle lit bath you wanted. Celebrate what’s great about you. Just because there’s no man spoiling you doesn’t mean you can’t spoil yourself.

2) Think of the Drawbacks

No, you might not be in a couple and therefore will not have anybody’s eyes stare into by candle light – bluegh – but that also means you can’t be disappointed. You won’t be sat all day waiting for Valentines gifts that never appear.

3) Think Single Thoughts

Take entire day

to think about why being single is far superior to other options. No nagging men to correct us on the ‘wrong’ things we do, no putting up with his annoying habits or friends. No compromise. And, ladies, this is coupe de grais, no smelly shoes to stink out your house or puddles around the toilet!

4) Self Respect

Do you really, really want to be one of those couples? The ones that spew so much love they suffocate everyone unfortunate enough to be in their general vicinity? Do you want to stare longingly into each other’s eyes over a flickering open flame in an overcrowded restaurant? Do you want to end up with a home full of novelty panties and stuffed toys? I sincerly hope the answer that is no.

5) It's Just Not Worth It

Are you prepared to spend £70 on a meal that would only cost £30 on any other night of the year? Do you want to spend a heap load of cash that you cant really afford to spare on gifts neither of you really want for no reason? Nuh uh, may aswell stay single, keep the cash and spend it on whatever the hell you want. You earnt it, you spend it the way you see fit!

6) Hermit

If all else fails, bolt the door, lock the windows, draw the curtains, put on the least romantic film you own and shut out the world and its hearts and flowers.

Make the most of your single Valentines day, celebrate you, because hey, your fabulous and you deserve it.

Don’t let Hallmark make you cry ladies, rise above, be awesome!